Wednesday, October 21, 2009

An ENFJ's worst nightmare

Today begins week 3. Past trips or experiences, I found myself coming to my journal with the opening remark, "Time has flown by..". Here it's barely moving. My rationale is that by all accounts, this is the hardest place I've ever found myself. Difficult on all fronts. Living in Bethlehem is an amazing experience, but one that comes with limitations. As a female, I can, but am strongly warned against, walking alone after dark. Being that winter is (slowly) beginning to show it's face, night acts like these mischievous kids and sneaks up without warning. It then holds me here like a hostage, leaving me to dream of all the secret fun those who can be out must be having. The solitude sometimes feels like isolation. I'm realizing quickly how much I depend on the company of others, and am hoping this experience will "grow me out of it" just slightly. I'm an extrovert, so slightly may even be a stretch. I find myself often thinking of home, because I love the people there, but also because it's so difficult to find something here that resembles it. How funny it is to now look back on my time in Korea and think how little of a stretch that was from my normal life. I had the things I really valued - a close community - people that made me laugh, mobility, cafes to use as a get away from home and work..
Read this entry as simply this: Being here has made me more self aware, and I am prepared for a time of much self reflection and (cross your fingers) growth.
(can you, through time & practice, become more or less extroverted/introverted? I guess we'll see)

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