Thailand: Cheers and Jeers

Just got back from 2 weeks in Thailand, here's the good, bad, and ugly:

1) Thai Airways (CHEERS)

Hands down the best airlines I have ever flown, and I have been around the airline block. Let me try to paint the picture: Within minutes of take off, the crew is doing their first round of beverage service including some fairly average snack of peanuts or crackers or something. Movie begins. Immediately following, the cart makes it's second spin around the cabin with our meal - chicken or steak served with your choice of beverage (all drinks, alcoholic or non, are complimentary). I had white wine with my chicken, assorted vegatables, proscuito slices, roll, and dessert. Then they come around with either green tea or coffee. Finally they come around once more with a bottle of cognac and a tray of shot glasses for anyone interested. I didn't partake. but yes, all complimentary. All of this on a 3+ hour flight. All but unheard off from our stateside companies. If that wasn't enough, we hopped off the plane for a 30 minute break in Hong Kong, reboarded, and did the whole thing all over again (another 3+ hr flight).

Thai Airways, I salute you and will forever be a patron of your services.

2) Australia Day (CHEERS)
Although I, nor none of the chaps we were mingling with were Australian, we partied like we were. Koh Tao, Thailand - the bar: Choppers bar and grill. They sponsor a free all you can eat BBQ, stocked full of grilled chicken, steak, sausage, cole slaw, and salad. The bar is an open air place, shallow but stretching half a block. The place is packed - standing room only with no two people next to each other speaking the same language. (side note: I met more Fins on Koh Tao than I believe actually live in Finland). On stage a guy with his guitar played every classic song, overshadowed by the crowd screaming the words over him. People in swim suits and sarongs dancing on their chairs, drinking copious amounts of Singha, singing every Irish drinking song or Aussie pride song known to man. Bliss. You'd think it can't get better, but it does. Upstairs our crew has managed to stash away the corner couches that surround the dance floor. It doesn't take long for our toes to start tappin out the beat, shoulders swaying.. soon we are occupying the dance floor. And we occupy it hard. The only woman who danced longer than us was a 50+ lady in a long flowy dress. I want to be her in 30 years. The night ends with some scantily clad swimming and a well deserved hangover in the morning.

3) The Locals (JEERS)
'the locals', meaning those specifically on Koh Tao are generally kind people. Generally. However in my experience it was a very few bad apples that spoiled the bunch.
Let me recount:
Bad Apple #1:
Being that we will be living on this island for just under 2 weeks, Galen and I do the walking thing for a bit, but decide the only way to see the whole island is to rent a scooter - the chosen form of transportation on this tiny island by locals and tourists alike. We rent a bike from what looks to be a reputable outfitters next to our bungalows. We inspect it rather thoroughly and point out any imperfection to the employee for documentation.
(** Mistake #1: Travelers please take note - document the dings and dents yourself! Our problem occurs when we realize he neglected to (purposefully or not) record a scratch we end up paying heavily for)
We hand over our passport as collateral and we're off.
(** Mistake #2: Unavoidable or not (we think all the outfitters on this island require this) we agreed to use our passport as collateral only after offering money and/or other forms of ID. We don't think this is actually legal (#1) and (#2) screws you over for whatever they claim you did and thus demand you pay for.)
So, we enjoy the bike for 24 hours, go to return it only to find out they want to charge us for 2 scratches they say weren't there before (we argue otherwise). I say this only because if we had any reason to believe that it was our fault, we would have handed over the money. But.. there was nothing we could have done to cause these scratches (surface scratches on the plastic muffler cover - it would take rubbing a rock on it over and over again to get a scratch like that). It remains completely functionable, with no damage to the actual body of the bike. Never the less, they have our passport so they know they don't need to negotiate. We hand over the 1,500 Baht begrudgingly. 5 days later as we are preparing to leave for home, we walk by the bike shop and spy our bike out front. And guess what? Same muffler was still on it with that same inconsequential scratch. I'm glad we were forced to buy them a new muffler.














Bad Apple #2:
Galen and I move to a tiny, ma and pop bungalow just outside sairee beach for a night. They kindly allow us to borrow some snorkel gear to take out on our all day boat tour (only to find out on my first dive that the mask was broken and took on water worse than the titanic). Luckily, our taxi driver has extra gear, so all was not lost. Well the next morning we hand over the stuff and try to explain to the lady about the broken mask incident and how it was broken BEFORE I used it. This woman has either a) never had a constructive argument in her life, b) dealt with too many cheating tourists, or most likely, c) both. She begins screaming at us in a combination of "I know! I know everything!", "Yesterday not broken, today broken!", and "You pay now!". These phrases are yelled at us continuously without stopping for a breathe. For 10 minutes. Galen tries to calmly discuss it with her, I begin to lose it (as this is the 2nd scam I've had to deal with in 2 days) and yell back. I go back into the room to avoid saying anything else and let Galen finish the job. Well her husband/boyfriend/hired muscle picks up a brick sized rock and walks past Galen trying to pull him off the porch. He walks right by Galen, into the bungalow, up to me, holds the rock over his head and threatens to hit me with it. I have to say, I was actually scared. (Don't tell my mom this story, she may not let me leave the house ever again). We pay immediately, tell them we're packing up and leaving without paying for the next day or late check out. We left the island 2 hours later.
Traveler's note: The above mentioned bungalows: Silver Cliff resort on the north end of Sairee beach, Koh Tao Thailand.















4) Mr. Koh Tao, taxi driver extraodinaire (CHEERS)
Mr. Koh Tao and his little skiff took us all around the island to the best snorkel spots around. (I've never been snorkeling before, but this was quite amazing. Crystal teal water, brightly colored coral, sea plants, rocks, etc, and the most amazing fish I'd ever seen - neon blues, greens, oranges, purples). The little orange butterfly fish were cute - they always swam real slow and in 2, like an old couple. Mr Koh Tao, your laugh and smile were infectious, your good spirits contagious. Thanks for letting me drive the boat for a bit!















5) Thai Men (CHEERS)
You have successfully fooled me (and a lot of men) into thinking you're women. Maybe not the best drag queens I've ever seen (there's something I love about a really large man in sequence and nylons) but you certainly win the prize for best crossdressers/transvestites. I have never questioned my initial guess so many times. Kudos.

6) The Price of Island Living (JEERS)
It's expensive. And the food, booze, and accommodations aren't nearly worth it.

7) The Silver Cliff resort (JEERS)
One more time for the Silver Cliff because they were just that bad. Congratulations ya big jerks!
















And to our cronies, the rebel rousers, partners in crime. You know who you are. You Scots, Fins, that English bloak, and the escapee from Canada - You are good people. You made our time what it was: full of Britney Spears and bubbles (I'm working on my cockney). Best of luck on the rest of your journeys, you will be missed. Much love from Korea.